The "Small Talk Cheat Sheet"

I have a terrible memory.

Especially the type of memory related to recent events in other people's lives.

(For some reason, my memory related to random historical battles, specific metabolic pathways, and other useless trivia is much better. But I digress...)

For example, my partner Julio has this 2-week trip starting today that was scheduled for months. I knew about it. He knew I knew about it.

Yet for some odd reason, I asked him last Friday about his plans for this week.

My brain didn't connect the dots.

Luckily for me, it didn't matter. He and I know each other for quite a while and he just laughed.

HOWEVER, sometimes it pays to be attentive.

If you're in sales, well, it literally pays… But even if you're not a salesperson, showing that you listen and care about other people helps A LOT.

It helps you network better. It helps them trust you more. It helps you get another meeting with them (and perhaps someone they know) in the near future.

The keyword: showing.

If you're like me, who does care about other people but has shitty memory for actually useful things, you get no points from that.

So, what to do?

Fellow reader Luiza (the same one from the "Be a chicken, not a duck" email) shares a great tip:

The nice thing about this one is that if:

1) You already take meeting notes, and…

2) You already review the notes of the previous meeting for the next one…

… It'll take you just 15 seconds to do this.

And by doing this, you'll be ahead of everyone else in "small talk" skills (except, maybe those naturals with incredible interpersonal skills and an even better memory).

This is the no-brainer tip…

But as I was writing this, I came up with a way to take it up a notch.

The "Small Talk Cheat Sheet"

If you do work in sales, especially high-ticket sales…

Or if your profession depends heavily on networking and building long-term relationships…

Or if you just want to be a beast at this kind of stuff because you know how valuable it is and how you can grow a successful career in practically any field by doing it better than 99% of people…

I think there's a way.

It's more work than Luiza's advice, so it's not for everyone. But it may be for you.

(And if you do it, let me know a couple of months from now how it's going.)

I call it the "Small Talk Cheat Sheet".

You know how companies have CRM files for their customers where they document every interaction they've had with the company?

Well, you can have a "Personal CRM" for the relationships you want to nurture. A note on your phone for each person is fine.

In it, you write down — after each interaction with that person — something new they showed interest in…

• Something their daughter likes

• Sports, TV shows, movie directors they're interested in

• Places they've visited or want to visit (and what they've liked / think they'll like about those places)

• Things they mentioned (or you inferred) that could make the perfect gift

I'm not gonna lie – I have never done any of this. But I know people who do it, including one successful politician.

And it's one of the few systematic ways to be charismatic. To make the other person feel you're a friend.

Is this manipulative?

I don't know, you tell me…

But if someone finds out you do it and the situation gets weird, you can always say that your memory sucks but you still want to show people you care about them.

Keep working smarter.

- Bruno